Thursday, January 19, 2006

Kyle came home yesterday, he was gone 6 days. He was home when Karen got home from work, acting like nothing had happened. We sat him down that evening, and told him he was an adult, and could do what he wanted to do, but he needs to consider the people who love him when he disappears. He seemed genuinely surprised that we cared, and that he had us worried.

So, it's life as normal. I never see him anyway, he avoids me like the plague, but at least I know he's safe.

Thanks again to all for your comments and emails. It meant a lot to Karen and I.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Heard From Kyle

Thanks to all for leaving comments, and sending emails to us. It means a lot to Karen and myself. I have a hard time responding to comments, as blogger is blocked by my employer, and I have so little time at home between both jobs. But I get your emails, and your comments also come by email, so it's much appreciated. At least I'm able to post using Gmail.

Evidently Kyle has been staying with a friend, or maybe shuttling between a few friends. They both claimed they didn't know where he was earlier. He's been evidently avoiding his girlfriend. That's Kyle, he will avoid stress and confrontation at all costs. His girlfriend had an aunt coming into town that is evidently 'famous' in some way. She was anxious to introduce her to Kyle. Kyle is a good looking young man, presents himself very well, and is very poised and polished when he wants to be. But, and this is conjecture on my part, he couldn't handle the stress of this meeting, and took off. It's his exact MO. Anytime there's something he doesn't want to do, be it medically, socially, or due to employment, he takes off or gets so drunk he can't function, and therefore can't go.

His girlfriend came over yesterday and held the phone to my 18 year old son's ear and told him to dial a particular friend. Evidently she had a tip he was there. She knew Kyle wouldn't turn down talking to his brother. He tried to tell her the line was busy, but she immediately called back and hung up, telling my son it was free. He called, and talked to Kyle. Kyle said he'd be home in the next day or two.

That's all I know right now. At least he's not in the hospital, jail, or the morgue.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Kyle Update

Our 21 year old bipolar son, Kyle, has been gone now since Thursday night - Friday morning. This isn't unusual, when things get too stressful for him, he disappears. We assume he goes on a bender, and usually comes back after 2 or 3 days. But he's not usually gone this long. We're a little concerned.

His girlfriend has been calling several times a day, she is very worried. She got some very mean text messages that said they were from Kyle yesterday, saying he wanted to break up, and being very mean. Karen told the girlfriend that Kyle would never do that, and he wouldn't. He's as compassionate as they come, and would NEVER knowingly hurt anyone's feelings. But she's scared, and hurt, and we don't blame her.

We've gotten some clues from various people so we know he's still alive (that really is a concern of ours), and he may be staying with a few different people. But he's not working, has no money, and is a sloppy drunk, so nobody will tolerate him for too long.

We get angry having him around the house, as he creates messes and is not respectful of our house or property, yet we miss him and worry when he's gone. That's the nature of a parent, I guess.

Friday, January 06, 2006

OK folks, I'm looking for answers here, and I have a feeling there's some experts out there. So if you could leave comments after this post, it would be MUCH appreciated.

We want to get Kyle (now 21) started on Social Security disability. He refuses to go along with it, for several reasons. So, I'm addressing his concerns.

First, if (when) he's approved, what if he decides to try to work again? I am assuming he loses his disability at that point. If he only lasts a few months at his job(which is normal), does he have to completely go through the application process again? What if his job does NOT offer medical benefits? Can he keep medicare or medicaid while working that job?

Is medical and presciption (medicare or medicaid) an integral part of Social Security Disability? If he qualifies for one, does he automatically get the other?

Next, I assume his benefits are for an amount of money that depends on how much he's contributed for the last 'X' period of time. Let's say $400 a month. What if he can hold a job for a long enough time that his benefits amount could potentially rise. When he stops working after that, assuming we don't have to reapply per the question above, does the increase become automatic?

He was looking forward to a job interview today that his girlfriend lined up for him. But when we checked in on him this morning, he was gone. He was presumably partying last night. It's his normal behavior. When he's nervous about something he copes by getting so wiped out the night before he can't make his obligation the next day. So I have my doubts that he'll be able to secure a job unless we fill out the application for him, and trick him into the interview. Then he'd perform well in the interview, he always does. It's the stress leading up to that he can't handle.

Any input on the SS process would be MUCH appreciated.

Cross posted to Living With A Purple Dog and Bipolar Support.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Just a quick update. Things aren't good, but they're not bad, either. Kyle's not taking his meds, and not going for counseling. He's not looking for work. He doesn't seem depressed, however. He stays up all night, and sleeps all day, and spends all his time in his bedroom. His girlfriend is over whenever she's not working. This is the same girlfriend we got a court order against a while back. We still don't know if it was her that was abusive to Kyle, or her family, or someone else. But she is trying so hard, and really seems to be a sweet girl. I am giving her the benefit of the doubt until things prove otherwise. She is very good for Kyle, very patient, and I know is pushing him. When he blows up, it's her he blows up at. But they seem to work it out. The phone still rings in the middle of the night, one time only. On those nights, we know we won't find Kyle home in the morning. I imagine he's out partying all night. At least he's not doing it at home.

Kyle avoids me like the plague. I wish he wouldn't, as when I try to seek him out I get manic. His bedroom is accessible only through our laundry room. Between Kyle and my wife that room is always a disaster - clothes all over the floor, junk everywhere. I just can't take it when I go in there, and Kyle knows that. I've asked them both to keep it picked up, but it goes in one ear and out the other. I think they do that just so I can't get to him. Damn, I'm getting upset just thinking about it. But I really wish he'd talk to me.

But things could be worse, they always can.