Thursday, January 19, 2006
So, it's life as normal. I never see him anyway, he avoids me like the plague, but at least I know he's safe.
Thanks again to all for your comments and emails. It meant a lot to Karen and I.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Heard From Kyle
Evidently Kyle has been staying with a friend, or maybe shuttling between a few friends. They both claimed they didn't know where he was earlier. He's been evidently avoiding his girlfriend. That's Kyle, he will avoid stress and confrontation at all costs. His girlfriend had an aunt coming into town that is evidently 'famous' in some way. She was anxious to introduce her to Kyle. Kyle is a good looking young man, presents himself very well, and is very poised and polished when he wants to be. But, and this is conjecture on my part, he couldn't handle the stress of this meeting, and took off. It's his exact MO. Anytime there's something he doesn't want to do, be it medically, socially, or due to employment, he takes off or gets so drunk he can't function, and therefore can't go.
His girlfriend came over yesterday and held the phone to my 18 year old son's ear and told him to dial a particular friend. Evidently she had a tip he was there. She knew Kyle wouldn't turn down talking to his brother. He tried to tell her the line was busy, but she immediately called back and hung up, telling my son it was free. He called, and talked to Kyle. Kyle said he'd be home in the next day or two.
That's all I know right now. At least he's not in the hospital, jail, or the morgue.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
His girlfriend has been calling several times a day, she is very worried. She got some very mean text messages that said they were from Kyle yesterday, saying he wanted to break up, and being very mean. Karen told the girlfriend that Kyle would never do that, and he wouldn't. He's as compassionate as they come, and would NEVER knowingly hurt anyone's feelings. But she's scared, and hurt, and we don't blame her.
We've gotten some clues from various people so we know he's still alive (that really is a concern of ours), and he may be staying with a few different people. But he's not working, has no money, and is a sloppy drunk, so nobody will tolerate him for too long.
We get angry having him around the house, as he creates messes and is not respectful of our house or property, yet we miss him and worry when he's gone. That's the nature of a parent, I guess.
Friday, January 06, 2006
We want to get Kyle (now 21) started on Social Security disability. He refuses to go along with it, for several reasons. So, I'm addressing his concerns.
First, if (when) he's approved, what if he decides to try to work again? I am assuming he loses his disability at that point. If he only lasts a few months at his job(which is normal), does he have to completely go through the application process again? What if his job does NOT offer medical benefits? Can he keep medicare or medicaid while working that job?
Is medical and presciption (medicare or medicaid) an integral part of Social Security Disability? If he qualifies for one, does he automatically get the other?
Next, I assume his benefits are for an amount of money that depends on how much he's contributed for the last 'X' period of time. Let's say $400 a month. What if he can hold a job for a long enough time that his benefits amount could potentially rise. When he stops working after that, assuming we don't have to reapply per the question above, does the increase become automatic?
He was looking forward to a job interview today that his girlfriend lined up for him. But when we checked in on him this morning, he was gone. He was presumably partying last night. It's his normal behavior. When he's nervous about something he copes by getting so wiped out the night before he can't make his obligation the next day. So I have my doubts that he'll be able to secure a job unless we fill out the application for him, and trick him into the interview. Then he'd perform well in the interview, he always does. It's the stress leading up to that he can't handle.
Any input on the SS process would be MUCH appreciated.
Cross posted to Living With A Purple Dog and Bipolar Support.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Kyle avoids me like the plague. I wish he wouldn't, as when I try to seek him out I get manic. His bedroom is accessible only through our laundry room. Between Kyle and my wife that room is always a disaster - clothes all over the floor, junk everywhere. I just can't take it when I go in there, and Kyle knows that. I've asked them both to keep it picked up, but it goes in one ear and out the other. I think they do that just so I can't get to him. Damn, I'm getting upset just thinking about it. But I really wish he'd talk to me.
But things could be worse, they always can.