Monday, March 22, 2004
I apologize to the new friends we've made from this blog, but this has just become too much of an effort to update regularly. Too little return for the emotional energy expended to write this. It's not therapeutic, it's just painful. But that being said, we'll try to check in from time to time.
Kyle's feet are healing better than the doctors hoped they would. He still doesn't have feeling to much of his toes, but he didn't lose any toes. He lost skin and tissue, but not enough to the point they'll do skin grafts.
He still comes and goes, we may walk into his room and see him in bed, or we may go 3 or 4 days without seeing him. He stays with friends, he stays someplace with his girlfriend (not at her house, I'm surprised her father hasn't killed him), or he's just gone. I don't think he really sleeps much. A handful of hours a week perhaps. He's drinking like a fish, smoking like a chimney, and still getting high. I don't see track marks on his arms, so he's not using needles, not that I'd expect him to. I just look for the worst when it comes to Kyle. Unlike Karen, who looks at the best. But we have to lock up our alcohol from him, or he can drain a bottle in no time.
We mentioned his girlfriend. She's head over heels in love with him. I don't blame her, there's something about Kyle. She's a senior in high school, and going to college in Hawaii next year. We hope. I know they're having sex, we've found condoms. At least they're using condoms. She seems like a sweet girl, we'd like to explain to her about Kyle, but how do we do that? And Kyle deserves to be happy also. It's a tough situation. They went out a week or so ago, and I presume they went parking. We woke up to find her Explorer parked in front of our house, completely covered in mud, and front end parts hanging off all over. We found them in bed together in our house. They didn't remember what happened to the truck, and it turns out the engine was ruined. They both got so drunk they blacked out, ruined a nearly new truck, and managed to drive home. Scary. But that's Kyle.
We haven't had any major blow-ups lately, except for the episode with the truck, and they both left after a shouting match between Kyle and myself.
Kyle is still not working, and collecting disability for his feet. I just know something's going to come up again soon where I'll be forced to kick him out. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
One other thing that may be illuminating. My wife said she thinks I'm bipolar. I don't think so, but I do admit to having some of the traits. I was somewhat similar to Kyle at his age. The big difference, I could do what I had to do to get by. I could work, hold a job, (couldn't hold money), go to school, and so forth. I was REALLY happy-go-lucky, and a little (lot) crazy. But I got by. I knew what I had to do, and I did it. But I am obsessive, I've lost jobs due to obsessive behavior, especially about hobbies and pasttimes. I don't have a substance abuse problem, and I have the willpower to avoid affairs and other temptations. I guess bipolar or not, it doesn't really matter. But Karen is really looking for a reason and a link, she says it's an inherited condition.
That's enough for now, for those who have written, I'm going to try and check my mail more regularly.