Friday, September 30, 2005

(You may not be able to see the above picture - blogger images don't pass through some firewalls)

I'm not trying to offend ayone, and I hope this isn't too graphic. But I want to show that this isn't just a schoolyard whipping.

No charges will be filed, the prosecuter doesn't think there's enough evidence to build a case, given the witnesses on both sides.

So, another lesson learned, and we move on.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Kyle goes in for surgery this afternoon to put a metal plate in his forehead. While this is a routine surgery for the docs, it's pretty stressful for our family.

Any prayers would be appreciated.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Update on Kyle.

He's still in the hospital. They are likely going to have to do surgery to fix the caved-in area in his forehead. He has some bloody drainage into his sinuses, no doubt from that fracture there. It appears he'll dodge the broken jaw surgery. He's still very sore, but he was able to eat some mashed potatos today, so they think they can spare him that surgery.

The father of the leader of the pack that attacked Kyle called us tonight. He called Kyle in the hospital, and when I found out that I flipped. I called the guy back, and told him to NEVER contact anyone in my family again. Kyle was scared stiff after the call, this family has a terrible reputation, and Kyle feared for his safety. So they moved Kyle, and put another security person on the floor.

That's about it for now, we hope he'll be able to come home tomorrow. He'll stay with us until he recovers a bit, then we'll see what shakes.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

When the phone rings at 3:00 AM, a parent loses a few years of their life. It's never good news, the best you can hope for is a wrong number. At 3:00 AM Sunday morning, our phone rang - it was Kyle's girlfriend. He had been severely beaten by some people they tried to kick out of their apartment. They were taking him to the hospital. We met them there, and after X-Rays and CAT scans, it was determined that Kyle had a fractured skull and a broken jaw. Also, they were watching him for signs of internal issues, he took several kicks to the ribs. Luckily, the fractured area of his skull is into his sinus cavity, and is not life threatening. It's a divot that looks like he might have been hit hard by a golf ball.

A quick synopsis of the issues leading up to this. There had been a 19 year old kid that had been crashing at their apartment. They wanted to get rid of him, and finally last night they told him to leave. As he was gathering his things he grabbed a Play Station that belonged to one of the people living in the apartment. Kyle told him to leave that there, and when he went to take it from him he was jumped by 4 other kids. One of the kids had brass knuckles, and that's likely what caused the damage to Kyle.

They filed a police report at the hospital. A few hours ago, a roommate that had been at the hospital with Kyle went home, and found that same kid still sleeping in their apartment. He called us, and we called 911. The police responded, and said they couldn't do anything. The kid had no warrants, and the report filed earlier had not been entered, and for some reason the officers said it was a misdemeanor. They had no reason to keep this kid, so they told him to gather his things and take off. They then informed me that it appeared Kyle was the only person of legal age in that apartment, and they had been hearing about several parties involving kegs of beer each week at this apartment. They suspected Kyle of buying the beer for these large parties of underage kids. It's starting to look like there's no way for Kyle to pursue this without getting himself into serious trouble.

We are very much conflicted right now. We love him dearly, but if he goes back to this apartment he'll likely find himself in jail again before long. We really don't want him living here, we think it would be a bad and potentially dangerous environment for our other kids. He can't hold a job, and he obviously has a serious drinking (and maybe drug) problem.

One of 2 scenarios will probably happen. First, we try to get him into the military. I am VERY much opposed to the war in Iraq, and I feel the same kind of compassion that is accorded, depending on political party, to unborn babies or death row inmates, should be extended to soldiers when at all possible. In other words, respect for life is THE OVERRIDING philosophy that drives me. Life in any form, born or unborn, deserves the same respect as any other life. Kyle feels the same way, and doesn't want to fight. But he would be an excellent and compassionate medic, or other similar job.

The second scenario is that we go to court to have him declared incompetent. He then is eligible for medicare, and can have some kind of normal health care. But we are NOT WILLING to be his guardians. And this also assumes he is found to be incompetent. Kyle's last full work-up indicated only depression. Well, we know there's more going on than that, and he's so brilliant he can make them believe anything he wants them to believe.

I'll keep you all updated over the next day or two. Kyle doesn't have insurance, so they won't keep him hospitalized any longer than necessary. But he needs to have surgery to put a pin in his jaw, and to fix the fracture in his forehead. And because he was throwing up blood, they'll be watching that, also. His lower lip is hamburger, so the blood could have been swallowed from there. They'll keep an eye on him and call us if necessary.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Jon here, with an update.

Really not much to report. Kyle is still living on his own. He's still not working, although he is making as much of an effort to apply for jobs as he can. He was over to the house about 2 weeks ago, and I pulled up a website for him to apply for a job. I know he wanted this job, it was customer service for a major cable TV and internet provider. I got him started, then left him alone. He COULD NOT do that application. He just couldn't do it. It wasn't possible for him. I don't say this in a negative way, he just couldn't do it. I ended up doing the app myself for him. Maybe that's why he never got called...

His girlfriend is paying his rent. I keep hoping she'll get tired of him and leave him. That means he'll move back, but that I wouldn't mind right now.

Karen called me to the computer last night to read a web page. She said "this is Kyle exactly". It was about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It fit me exactly, also, but that's another subject. As we've blogged in the past, Kyle never had the same diagnosis twice in a row. Everyone he ever went to (and there were plenty) always gave a different diagnosis. He's so incredibly smart, he told them what they wanted to hear. Well, that's BPD exactly. Bad or damaging relationships, seperation anxiety, risky behavior - it all fits. You can also have BPD in association with Bipolar Disorder, or other ailments.

Unfortunately, it's not really treatable. Counseling and therapy are the only things known to help. Drugs can be prescribed to treat certain symptoms, but nothing is known to keep it under control. I know I'm taking Cymbalta right now, and while it helps with certain things, most of my BPD symptoms (if I do have it) aren't affected.

Any readers have any insight on BPD?

On the positive side, Kyle is wonderful, as always, to have around. His cell phone was turned off a few weeks ago for non-payment. He was frantic as he was job hunting. Karen rented a carpet cleaner, and brought him over to clean our carpets. NOBODY cleans like Kyle. He was at it all night long, for about 12 straight hours. What a job he did! In payment, Mom paid his phone bill, and now she can contact him again. Significant stress lifted from BOTH of them.

I'd like to have more to report, but with Kyle, no news is the best news, in most cases.

The rest of the family is great, the oldest boy graduates from college in May, the youngest boy is a senior in high school and has been accepted to one of the best trade schools in the region. The girls are doing great in grade school, and Karen and I are as happy as we've ever been. We're still broke, probably always will be, but as Karen says to me from time to time, "It's been a hell of a ride!" And she's right - I wouldn't trade our life for all the money in the world.