Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Just a quick update. Things aren't good, but they're not bad, either. Kyle's not taking his meds, and not going for counseling. He's not looking for work. He doesn't seem depressed, however. He stays up all night, and sleeps all day, and spends all his time in his bedroom. His girlfriend is over whenever she's not working. This is the same girlfriend we got a court order against a while back. We still don't know if it was her that was abusive to Kyle, or her family, or someone else. But she is trying so hard, and really seems to be a sweet girl. I am giving her the benefit of the doubt until things prove otherwise. She is very good for Kyle, very patient, and I know is pushing him. When he blows up, it's her he blows up at. But they seem to work it out. The phone still rings in the middle of the night, one time only. On those nights, we know we won't find Kyle home in the morning. I imagine he's out partying all night. At least he's not doing it at home.

Kyle avoids me like the plague. I wish he wouldn't, as when I try to seek him out I get manic. His bedroom is accessible only through our laundry room. Between Kyle and my wife that room is always a disaster - clothes all over the floor, junk everywhere. I just can't take it when I go in there, and Kyle knows that. I've asked them both to keep it picked up, but it goes in one ear and out the other. I think they do that just so I can't get to him. Damn, I'm getting upset just thinking about it. But I really wish he'd talk to me.

But things could be worse, they always can.

you got a court order against your son's girlfriend.. has it occurred to you that maybe your SON's the abusive one? I am in a similar situation with my boyfriend and his parents.. they wanted to take out restraining orders... thank god they didnt... i mean its one thing for my boyfriend not to care about HIS life.. but i certainly care about mine. It incenses me that parents like you and his are BLIND to how abusive and destructive your kids are to others! (especially their significant others... when she told you that your son sent her bad txt messages you should have believed in thatand used your good sense to say.. hey.. maybe its not her.. maybe our son IS as messed up as people are indicating) ...and how stupidly you go along with placating him and pretending that HE's so blameless due to a disease. Question.. does your son say.. "i dont have to because im bipolar? or because im sick" guess who's feeding THAT fire? YOU! the "loving parent"
You mention that your son's girlfriend has a job... yet your son can't even hold down a job... how riduculous to think that other people are to blame for your son's downward spiral... not to mention irresponsible to try to take down innocent people who have probably given u'r son the benefit of the doubt when he largely needed a kick in the ass... your son probably needs the court order to stay away.. not that a person like him cares... he doesnt care enought to hold down a job.. would he care to even be embarassed with being served papers? people like you are clearly delusional to the truth.

Im sure that your son was largely overparented... take the time and google it.."overparenting" i bet you will see some similarities. its sad that you would get a court order on a person who more than likely cares about him and who has largely had to take the brunt of his anger. you're not taking it.. he's not even home according to you.. and when he is, he's not even talking to you.. have some empathy and sypmathy for his girlfriend.. the one person who he can probably go to and be himself with. He will never go to you, unless its for money or a place to eat... and im sure you will just hand it over... feeding his feelings that he doesnt have to be RESPONSIBLE for anything... im sorry, but its time for you and your wife to wake up and have some boundaries. clearly, your son has no respect for either of you nor anyone else... you might as well just buy his booze for him for all the "help" you are doing. take this as suggestion... get him and yourselves into counseling. throw away the pride and get real with yourselves.. especially the reality of who your son has turned out to be and the potential of what he can be once he gets his crap together. oh. and dont forget the "overparenting" im sure you will glean alot of information from that and see some similarities.
Thanks for your opinion...
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