Saturday, December 24, 2005
It's Christmas, how's everyone doing? Attitudes good?
In our house Kyle has NOT been doing well. He is not working, so has no money for Christmas. He has no transportation to get anywhere, and I doubt his girlfriend will take him to sell plasma for gifts (it's rumored he's done this before). And he is SUCH a generous person it really hurts him when he can't give the way he'd like to give. No matter how many times we tell him it really does not matter to us, that we just want HIM there with us, it doesn't help. He still gets angry and manic. That's not pleasant when that happens.
2 evenings ago, he went over the edge. This doesn't happen often anymore, but when it does it's awful. He was banging things, slamming doors, yelling obscenities, screaming, and so forth. He finally went outside and started screaming the "F" word at the top of his lungs.
When Kyle gets this way, I'm better off just walking away. If I try to confront him, he turns on me and either verbally hammers me, or gets in my face. This has been the source of the few physical confrontations we've had in the past. But when he's outside screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs, there was nothing else I could do.
I went outside and told him to keep quiet. He went off on me.
"Oh, right. Good talk. Good weekly talk with me. Give me more wisdom. Good talk."
I said "Kyle, the neighborbors don't want to hear this."
He said "No YOU don't want the neighbors to hear this!"
I told him "Nobody wants to hear this."
Then showing significant restraint, I turned and walked back inside. Pre-medication I would not have been able to walk away from this. He did shut up after that, thank goodness.
This is not a unusual exchange, it happens every month or so. But this time was unusual in that Kyle came up to me and apologized a few hours later. He has NEVER done that of his own accord. I think my wife may have had something to do with this, but it doesn't matter. He never does this.
Even given this, he STILL refuses to stay on his meds. We're not going to be able to tolerate this forever.
But given all this, it will be a wonderful Christmas if Kyle is there and in a good mood. He adds SO much to our family. I'm looking forward to our Christmas Eve celebration.
In our house Kyle has NOT been doing well. He is not working, so has no money for Christmas. He has no transportation to get anywhere, and I doubt his girlfriend will take him to sell plasma for gifts (it's rumored he's done this before). And he is SUCH a generous person it really hurts him when he can't give the way he'd like to give. No matter how many times we tell him it really does not matter to us, that we just want HIM there with us, it doesn't help. He still gets angry and manic. That's not pleasant when that happens.
2 evenings ago, he went over the edge. This doesn't happen often anymore, but when it does it's awful. He was banging things, slamming doors, yelling obscenities, screaming, and so forth. He finally went outside and started screaming the "F" word at the top of his lungs.
When Kyle gets this way, I'm better off just walking away. If I try to confront him, he turns on me and either verbally hammers me, or gets in my face. This has been the source of the few physical confrontations we've had in the past. But when he's outside screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs, there was nothing else I could do.
I went outside and told him to keep quiet. He went off on me.
"Oh, right. Good talk. Good weekly talk with me. Give me more wisdom. Good talk."
I said "Kyle, the neighborbors don't want to hear this."
He said "No YOU don't want the neighbors to hear this!"
I told him "Nobody wants to hear this."
Then showing significant restraint, I turned and walked back inside. Pre-medication I would not have been able to walk away from this. He did shut up after that, thank goodness.
This is not a unusual exchange, it happens every month or so. But this time was unusual in that Kyle came up to me and apologized a few hours later. He has NEVER done that of his own accord. I think my wife may have had something to do with this, but it doesn't matter. He never does this.
Even given this, he STILL refuses to stay on his meds. We're not going to be able to tolerate this forever.
But given all this, it will be a wonderful Christmas if Kyle is there and in a good mood. He adds SO much to our family. I'm looking forward to our Christmas Eve celebration.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
I don't know whether to be embarassed or amused.
In addition to my career, I work a part time job as a front-end supervisor for a major national retailer. I was training a new kid the other day. He graduated last year from the same high school my kids attend(ed). When we had a break in the action, I chatted with him. I asked if he knew my youngest boy, a senior this year. He was a year older than my boy, and said he vaguely knew him. I then mentioned Kyle. He gets this big smile on his face. "Kyle Lastname? Yeah, I remember Kyle Lastname." He goes on to say that he was standing in the lunch line his sophomore year, and here comes Kyle streaking through the cafeteria. Hundreds of kids cheering, and Kyle's wearing nothing but running shoes. He allegedly hurdled the teacher that tried to tackle him and made it out the door.
What could I say? I just admitted "Kyle was somewhat of a challenge to raise".
As much as I want to be upset by this, I'm laughing on the inside. Only Kyle...
Reposted from Living With A Purple Dog.
In addition to my career, I work a part time job as a front-end supervisor for a major national retailer. I was training a new kid the other day. He graduated last year from the same high school my kids attend(ed). When we had a break in the action, I chatted with him. I asked if he knew my youngest boy, a senior this year. He was a year older than my boy, and said he vaguely knew him. I then mentioned Kyle. He gets this big smile on his face. "Kyle Lastname? Yeah, I remember Kyle Lastname." He goes on to say that he was standing in the lunch line his sophomore year, and here comes Kyle streaking through the cafeteria. Hundreds of kids cheering, and Kyle's wearing nothing but running shoes. He allegedly hurdled the teacher that tried to tackle him and made it out the door.
What could I say? I just admitted "Kyle was somewhat of a challenge to raise".
As much as I want to be upset by this, I'm laughing on the inside. Only Kyle...
Reposted from Living With A Purple Dog.
Had a chance to sit down with Kyle last night. He tried to justify missing his counseling appointment by saying the counselor is an idiot. We've heard this about every professional we've ever taken him to. He gave an example of saying he can't sleep. The counselor says, in an excruciatingly slow voice, "Many people with your condition suffer from this. You might try, um, say, reading a book?" To be fair to Kyle, I can understand how this would set him off. He is brilliant, and I'm sure he knows as much about his condition, and very possibly more, than the counselor. We convinced him to continue to go, but I can see the time coming where he gets bored and starts playing games with the counselor.
As far as meds, he gave us several reasons he wouldn't take meds. I ended up telling him of my youth, and how I lost jobs, and did things that sabotaged careers. That several former peers from one job stayed together while I got bored and had to make a change, and they are all retired now in their mid forties to fifties. I told him how, had I been diagnosed and properly medicated, my life could have been SO much easier. He wants to find a job, and the stress of that single task, the pressure of walking into Starbucks and asking them for a job drives him into a manic state. I tried to show him how he's going about this backwards. Get on the right med, and everything else in life becomes easier. I don't know if I got through to him, but I did see him take his first Risperdal(?). We'll see if it continues.
Reposted from Living With A Purple Dog.
As far as meds, he gave us several reasons he wouldn't take meds. I ended up telling him of my youth, and how I lost jobs, and did things that sabotaged careers. That several former peers from one job stayed together while I got bored and had to make a change, and they are all retired now in their mid forties to fifties. I told him how, had I been diagnosed and properly medicated, my life could have been SO much easier. He wants to find a job, and the stress of that single task, the pressure of walking into Starbucks and asking them for a job drives him into a manic state. I tried to show him how he's going about this backwards. Get on the right med, and everything else in life becomes easier. I don't know if I got through to him, but I did see him take his first Risperdal(?). We'll see if it continues.
Reposted from Living With A Purple Dog.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Well, it's been how long? Three weeks since we've had an issue with my 21 year old son Kyle? That's as much as we can expect.
Today he had a counselling appointment. His grandmother was coming over to pick him up at 2:30 PM. Late enough for him to be a typical bipolar and stay up all night, and still get some sleep. But this morning he's not here. Grandma comes over, he's not here. Throughout the day, my wife is getting calls.
His girlfriend calls my wife, says they had a big fight. Says Kyle is off his meds. Again. He's never been able to stay on medication for more than a few weeks. She says she's done with him. I don't know if this would be good or bad, she's violent, but he listens to her.
When he's gone all night, it's because he's drinking. He called my wife this afternoon, and sounded surprised about his appointment. He knew about it, but was either drunk or stoned when he called. He was at a friend's house that is a big drug user. I don't think he has a friend that is not a heavy drinker and/or a drug user.
I get home and there's a note on his bedroom door, his girlfriend obviously walked in and left it. She asks him to either call with an explanation or call to tell her to pick up her stuff.
So here's where we stand. Kyle has broken several rules of our rooming agreement. He is welcome to live in our house forever, provided he doesn't drink, keeps his Dr appointments, and stays on his meds. He knows where he stands, and I don't think we'll see him for several days. Then he'll come back, apologetic, and make another round of promises.
It's a circle that has no end.
Reposted from Living With A Purple Dog.
Today he had a counselling appointment. His grandmother was coming over to pick him up at 2:30 PM. Late enough for him to be a typical bipolar and stay up all night, and still get some sleep. But this morning he's not here. Grandma comes over, he's not here. Throughout the day, my wife is getting calls.
His girlfriend calls my wife, says they had a big fight. Says Kyle is off his meds. Again. He's never been able to stay on medication for more than a few weeks. She says she's done with him. I don't know if this would be good or bad, she's violent, but he listens to her.
When he's gone all night, it's because he's drinking. He called my wife this afternoon, and sounded surprised about his appointment. He knew about it, but was either drunk or stoned when he called. He was at a friend's house that is a big drug user. I don't think he has a friend that is not a heavy drinker and/or a drug user.
I get home and there's a note on his bedroom door, his girlfriend obviously walked in and left it. She asks him to either call with an explanation or call to tell her to pick up her stuff.
So here's where we stand. Kyle has broken several rules of our rooming agreement. He is welcome to live in our house forever, provided he doesn't drink, keeps his Dr appointments, and stays on his meds. He knows where he stands, and I don't think we'll see him for several days. Then he'll come back, apologetic, and make another round of promises.
It's a circle that has no end.
Reposted from Living With A Purple Dog.
