Thursday, December 15, 2005

Well, it's been how long? Three weeks since we've had an issue with my 21 year old son Kyle? That's as much as we can expect.

Today he had a counselling appointment. His grandmother was coming over to pick him up at 2:30 PM. Late enough for him to be a typical bipolar and stay up all night, and still get some sleep. But this morning he's not here. Grandma comes over, he's not here. Throughout the day, my wife is getting calls.

His girlfriend calls my wife, says they had a big fight. Says Kyle is off his meds. Again. He's never been able to stay on medication for more than a few weeks. She says she's done with him. I don't know if this would be good or bad, she's violent, but he listens to her.

When he's gone all night, it's because he's drinking. He called my wife this afternoon, and sounded surprised about his appointment. He knew about it, but was either drunk or stoned when he called. He was at a friend's house that is a big drug user. I don't think he has a friend that is not a heavy drinker and/or a drug user.

I get home and there's a note on his bedroom door, his girlfriend obviously walked in and left it. She asks him to either call with an explanation or call to tell her to pick up her stuff.

So here's where we stand. Kyle has broken several rules of our rooming agreement. He is welcome to live in our house forever, provided he doesn't drink, keeps his Dr appointments, and stays on his meds. He knows where he stands, and I don't think we'll see him for several days. Then he'll come back, apologetic, and make another round of promises.

It's a circle that has no end.

Reposted from Living With A Purple Dog.

I see great strength in what you've said. From a few months ago when Kyle was beat up so bad, as a parent, you've come a long ways.
You are so totally in the right, making him abide by the rules. He does know what they are & despite what he says, you shouldn't let him manipulate you. It sounds like you aren't letting him do that.
I don't know if I've said this before, but young adults have a more difficult time with the meds/disease because they think if they aren't on meds, they aren't bipolar. It makes no sense, but then, it makes a lot of sense. Know what I mean?
Will be back ~
Jane you are right about young people and meds.

We had a sit-down with Kyle tonight, I'll write about it sometime in the next day or so.
the problem with your "threats" are that they are idle.. have you held to your word? probably not... again.. you might as well just buy him his booze and put him on your family payroll kyle's "job" being your "son".... you arent helping him.. he needs to see that he needs to help HIMSELF.. and that you are drawing lines... no amount of reasoning kicks people into gear... he needs to see that his games dont work with you.. but of course.. you won't do this.. you'll try to sit him down and "discuss" and nothing will come of it.. he'll complain that he's "tired" and basically your conversation will end up you talking to a wall. sad to say.. but you have something to do with the way that he acts out.... once you come to terms with that and draw some boundaries, life WILL change.
From the "tough love even works on personality disorders" school of thought...
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