Sunday, January 27, 2008
Correction
I was pretty negative on my recent post. Kyle is trying, he really is. He's just fighting demons stronger than any I've known. I don't want to give the impression he's not trying. He'll get a handle on those demons long enough to make some positive changes, I know he will.
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thank you for your words. they help me to see that i am not alone. My son spent most of last night/this morning leaving me viscous voice mails on my cell. I have learned that it is not him that is insulting me, it is the disease. i have also learned to detach.....this morning i am having a little difficulty with detachment. I know my son loves and respects me. After turning my phone off. i had bad dreams about his depression and how i might have caused it. i know i didn't it is just hard to remember that when he is hurling insults that are somewhat true. he really knows where to push the buttons. My son has stopped taking his meds (he is 21) and this has been the result. i am waiting for the right moment to discuss this with him. He has not had an outburst like this since October 2007 when he started the medications. I had to call the Sheriff early this morning after my ex called me from out of state and said he was worried about a comment my son made and that my son might be suicidal. apparently he was not. Wow. that was a lot to get off my chest.
First, I want to let you know how much I admire you & your wife - and Kyle. I'm sure your family feels so alone sometimes. But you're not alone - you have each other. I teach in a private residential facility. Seven of my twelve students have BD in addition to ADHD,reactive attachment disorder, PDD, ODD, to name a few. The majority are in state custody through no fault of their own. The one thing they all want -which seems so out of grasp -is normalcy. I will pray for Kyle as I pray for my students. God bless.
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