Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Kyle Is Working
Kyle has a job again, and the change in him is remarkable. This happens whenever he gets a job, his confidence returns, he gets more productive in his day to day life, and he is just a different person.
This shows me that disability is most likely a huge mistake for him. In fact, I can see how disability could be a huge mistake for most people in his situation.
Please don’t misunderstand this. Disability is ABSOLUTELY necessary in many scenarios, and I am in no way supporting any curtailing of any program designed to help those with bipolar or mental challenges. I am saying that collecting disability can cause a spiral of dependency. The lack of self worth causes more issues, potentially leading to the substance abuse that is so prevalent among those of us with this condition. It’s an insidious trap – the job gives the self confidence necessary for a normal life, yet they can’t hold a job due to their condition. Go on disability, and they can’t take a job as their assistance will terminate or cut back to nothing. So their confidence and self-worth will never be what it could, and they will never become contributing members of society. This leads to…
It’s the song that never ends.
But back to the positive. Kyle is happy, cheerful, and doing things around the house. He did his own laundry yesterday. He’s a joy to be around.
Now if we can talk him into getting on a program of meds he stands a fighting chance of keeping the job. But he feels so confident and good about himself right now he’ll never consent to start meds.
It’s the song that never ends.
This shows me that disability is most likely a huge mistake for him. In fact, I can see how disability could be a huge mistake for most people in his situation.
Please don’t misunderstand this. Disability is ABSOLUTELY necessary in many scenarios, and I am in no way supporting any curtailing of any program designed to help those with bipolar or mental challenges. I am saying that collecting disability can cause a spiral of dependency. The lack of self worth causes more issues, potentially leading to the substance abuse that is so prevalent among those of us with this condition. It’s an insidious trap – the job gives the self confidence necessary for a normal life, yet they can’t hold a job due to their condition. Go on disability, and they can’t take a job as their assistance will terminate or cut back to nothing. So their confidence and self-worth will never be what it could, and they will never become contributing members of society. This leads to…
It’s the song that never ends.
But back to the positive. Kyle is happy, cheerful, and doing things around the house. He did his own laundry yesterday. He’s a joy to be around.
Now if we can talk him into getting on a program of meds he stands a fighting chance of keeping the job. But he feels so confident and good about himself right now he’ll never consent to start meds.
It’s the song that never ends.
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I agree with you about disability. I'm on it & wish I could do something, or be trained for soemthing but that I wouldn't lose my benefits. I had a very good job prior to becoming disabled.
The thing I'd watch out for is if he can't keep a job. Those I know personally can land any job they want & will be the best employee ever...for a time...then they start slacking off, missing work, the illness creeps back up to the surface.
I don't mean to sound negative, just keep an eye out & if it happens, realize it's the illness.
That said, I am very, very, VERY happy he's working! I'm ecstatic though because I know he knows you & his mom believe in him. And I know from hearing it from my son, that's what it comes down to. That you still love him.
You're both awesome parents!
The thing I'd watch out for is if he can't keep a job. Those I know personally can land any job they want & will be the best employee ever...for a time...then they start slacking off, missing work, the illness creeps back up to the surface.
I don't mean to sound negative, just keep an eye out & if it happens, realize it's the illness.
That said, I am very, very, VERY happy he's working! I'm ecstatic though because I know he knows you & his mom believe in him. And I know from hearing it from my son, that's what it comes down to. That you still love him.
You're both awesome parents!
i almost wish i could talk to your son.. i really do. i've been debating the option of disability and don't necessarily believe it is the right option for me either. but the meds? definitely the right option. you should let him know about me. ;)
Thanks all, for the support and comments.
Gen - he'd listen, he's polite and sweet, but it goes in one ear and out the other. Of course, there's bound to be someone he'll listen to.
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Gen - he'd listen, he's polite and sweet, but it goes in one ear and out the other. Of course, there's bound to be someone he'll listen to.
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