Thursday, December 04, 2003
I'm home from work sick today, from both jobs. Actually, I feel very guilty for staying home, but the way I've been sniffling, coughing, and generally dragging around the boss kind of made it clear he didn't want me around this way. I understand, but I'll pay for it doubly when I go back. Nobody else can or will handle my issues, so it will all be waiting for me when I go back.
We really don't have anything to report about Kyle. He's been home, but he comes and goes like a ghost. We don't know when he's here or when he's gone. But he seems to be following our house rules, I haven't caught him smoking in the house, or anything else. He went to a concert the other night, a hardcore christian band called Stretch Armstrong. We told him he would need to find his own way home, so he walked a mile and a half to his grandparents after the show and stayed there. At times I think he should get his drivers license back, but then I think of all the worrying we did when he was out late with the car...
I will tell two stories today. One was when Kyle was 14. We were expecting our 5th child, and Karen was due at any time. I was working alone at our store, and Karen called me about plans Kyle had made with a friend I didn't trust. I called Kyle and told him, in no uncertain terms, that we had discussed this before, and he was not to take off with this person. Kyle's response led me to believe that he wasn't going to listen to me. I drew a line in the sand, and told him that if he crossed the line, when I got home I may have to take my belt off and have a one-on-one with him.
Let me pause here to say that I don't beat my children. I have spanked one child, and only one of my five children, and that was Kyle. I have spanked him with a belt on a few occasions, be it right or wrong, when he blatantly and knowingly broke rules. Looking back, this may or may not have been a good approach with him, but it's over and done with. I guess time and God will let me know if this was right or wrong. Back to the story.
Karen called me shortly after, and told me that Kyle had blatantly defied me, and left with this kid. 2 or 3 hours later, I locked up the store, and came home. When I pulled into our circle, I see 2 sheriff cars in our driveway. I pulled up, and was met by a deputy who greeted me by name, and asked if I knew why they were there. I said I didn't, and he said Kyle was afraid of what might happen to him when he got home, so he called 911. The deputy went on to say that they had investigated, and that they found nothing to be concerned about. He wished me a good evening, and they got in their cars and drove away.
When they originally got there, they came right in, no knock. One deputy took my wife one direction, another took Kyle to another part of the house, where they interrogated both. An hour or so later, I got home, and they decided I wasn't a child abuser. It shook up Karen so badly, 2 hours later we were in the delivery room.
Now a pleasant memory. When he was about 12 or so. We went fishing, and were really catching a lot of bass. But Kyle wasn't doing as well as the rest of us, and it was frustrating to him. So he stood right next to me at the front of the boat, and matched me motion for motion. I cast, he cast. I twitched the rod, he did it exactly the same. He was my shadow. I started to get frustrated, but realized he really wanted to please me by being like me in this respect. That's been Kyle his whole life - he very much wants to please us.
Enough for today. We'll try and post more frequently.