Saturday, October 11, 2003

Karen here. Yesterday was my only day off and it was crazy. Kyle gets paid every two weeks on Friday. He has spent every one of his checks in a matter of minutes. My plan was that if I caught him early enough he could get his check deposited in an account with my mom. Then he wouldn't accuse me of taking it, it would be at a bank that he couldn't walk to, and he could start saving for a car or college.

I took our one daughter to school and the other and I went to the doctor. We got flu shots because I especially don't want to be around my dad if any of our family gets sick. Before I left I told Kyle that my mom would be coming. He went to work and was getting off at 1:15. I asked if he wanted her to come before work or after. She offered to pick him up from work. He said that he might have to stay. I told him to call her. At 1:00 I started to get calls from his "friend." I told him that he would be getting off soon and then had to go back to work. He said he knew that and even knew his exact schedule.

Kyle came home and I started on him about the check. He lied and said he would have to go back and get it. He got into the shower and the kid called back. His name comes up Trenton Knox. Another name came up while he was in the shower. It was the same kid but under the name Paula Earlewine. I told him he was in the shower and he told me it was an emergency and I needed to get him out. I said, "I'm sorry I won't do that." Then I went into the shower and made Kyle jump out. I tried to talk to him. I told him I found his paycheck stub and knew he had cashed it. He told me he owed people money. I asked him why? He begged me to let him get dressed since he was just in a towel. I told him if he snuck out on me I was done with him. I accused him of drugs and he got manic and pulled on his hair. He kept saying that I didn't understand and begged me to let him get dressed. I agreed and he went to his room. Not even two minutes later I heard the door shut. I looked out and there was a black car with tinted windows. I deadbolted all the doors.

Kyle came back and I told him that I was done with him. I told him that he blew his last chance. I knew he worked in an hour so I let him in. He said he just wanted to explain. He said Brian McGuinness was buying pot from a kid at work to sell. He said this has been going on for a long time. It happened so much that the kid Kyle worked with increased the amount of pot and didn't require any money until after Brian sold it. Then Brian blew the kid off. Kyle said he gave the kid his phone number and address but he still said Kyle was responsible since he is friends with him. The kid said he would break all of our windows if he didn't get his money. I asked about his other checks and Kyle said he bought pot for all his friends but he wasn't into this. I know how easy it is for him to lie so I kept pushing on him. He said that he wasn't having anything to do with Brian and neither was John (who lives on the next block.) He said that John was afraid of him because he was getting in too deep in the sales and would get caught. I asked how much he had left and he showed me thirty dollars out of a four hundred dollar check.

I told him that he needed to come right home after work. He said he was going to a show with Tom. He is the pastor's son at the church he hangs out with. I agreed to that thinking he would get back with some kids that are not doing drugs. We talked about putting money aside so he can go to college or buy a car. I am still very apprehensive about him driving. I was thinking, well he got himself in a mess but now he is out of it. I hoped he learned a lesson. He said he didn't owe anyone money. He said his next check would be in two weeks and I could go with him to pick it up.

Here it was 3:00 and my only day off wasted. I had gone to the doctor, spent two hours getting rid of a weight bench (boring story) , two hours dealing with Kyle. I looked around and our house was a mess. I cleaned the kitchen. I thought that I should skip the pumpkin patch. Last year we never went at all. But I had promised our girls. I wouldn't have any more time for a week. I called Jon. He said that he would be working late. I thought, "I can go out the pumpkin patch and come home and straighten things up before he gets home." I took the girls and had a wonderful time. I can't remember the last time I did something fun. Jon was very upset when I got home and rightly so. I brought the girls where our youngest son was babysitting and cleaned. Then I went to bed. Our youngest son never came home and neither did Kyle.

This morning our youngest son came back. Jon scolded him. He had spent the night at a friend's and tried to call. Jon said that that wasn't good enough and that he was grounded. Our son went to his room with tears in his eyes. I know it was wrong of him not to come home. I also know that he is such a great kid. He does the most caring things. Last week he skipped homecoming to go to a handicapped boy's party. He was afraid no one would come. He never ever fights with Jon. He may go into his room and cry but he never fights. I don't want to say he is my favorite child but he has been the least amount of trouble and the most fun to be with. I felt bad because Jon handed out the grounding without talking to me.

Anyway, I talked to our youngest son and he said he saw Kyle in the park with Brian Mcguinness, whom he supposedly has nothing to do with. Now his story which I truly believed is nothing but another pack of lies. I am afraid to kick him out and afraid to let him stay. I am going to have to give him another ultimatum and hope he comes clean. Or let him go and hope he doesn't get killed. Jon said this morning he was looking again at porn. I wish that I could help him. His lies are so tremendous. Jon can cut through them better than I . But he was working. I work in a couple of hours. I feel that I will need to let him go until he hurts bad enough to change. But will that day EVER come!

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