Thursday, October 02, 2003
Jon back today.
More problems. Kyle has really been all over the board with respect to his emotions. Mostly manic, moving from sheepish and quiet to a screaming maniac in minutes. It's quite disturbing.
Yesterday, Karen left our youngest, a 4 year old girl, alone with Kyle for a couple of hours while she was at work. Normally Karen's mom stays with her, but there was something going on and Karen said Kyle could handle that for 2 hours. When Karen got back Kyle was passed out in a drunken stupor, and our daughter was watching TV in a closet, unharmed and oblivious.
When I got home from work last night, we told Kyle he'd have to leave, and he stormed out with a blanket and pillows. He laid down on the sidewalk, yelling and daring us to call the police. Naturally, Karen brought him back in for "one more chance". She thinks he'll die of exposure on the streets. I feel he can't stay, that something really bad will happen if he does.
This was a really bad scenario in a couple of different ways. We could possibly have been arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor for not locking up our liquor, Kyle is 19 and had a friend over that is only 17 or 18. Our daughter said they went out on the deck, and wouldn't let her out with them. They were probably getting high. Another potential scenario is if someone calls the authorities on us, they search our house and find drugs. They may be able to show we are harboring Kyle knowing he is possessing and using drugs.
I really feel we're enabling his behavior, and need to pull the rug out. Karen thinks that is giving him a death sentence, as it's cold enough that he could die of exposure on the streets, and she'll proceed to mother him some more. Kyle is genuinely repentant about his actions, but someting will happen again in another week or two. That's a fact.
So we are left with very few options, and Karen and I are pulling apart on this decision. I say in frustration that since she's not willing to listen to me, she can handle it herself, and she accuses me of taking the easy way out by washing my hands of him. Yet, if we allow things to continue as they are, which is basically what she is doing, we run the risk of facing HUGE problems at some point in the future.
Here is what will happen: Mark my words and check back again in the future for confirmation of this: We will compromise, and say he has to leave, but he has a week to find a place to stay. He won't look for a place, maybe he's not capable of handling that task, maybe he knows he can manipulate his mother, but either way he will not find a place. He'll work hard, be a model citizen, and generally wow both of us in the coming week. We'll give in, and find ourselves in this exact same situation 2 weeks later, when it's much colder outside and Karen will be even more reluctant to kick him out. And the act or behavior that takes place next time could be much worse, even tragic. It scares me to death, knowing it's coming.
I'm not sure how to proceed on this one.
More problems. Kyle has really been all over the board with respect to his emotions. Mostly manic, moving from sheepish and quiet to a screaming maniac in minutes. It's quite disturbing.
Yesterday, Karen left our youngest, a 4 year old girl, alone with Kyle for a couple of hours while she was at work. Normally Karen's mom stays with her, but there was something going on and Karen said Kyle could handle that for 2 hours. When Karen got back Kyle was passed out in a drunken stupor, and our daughter was watching TV in a closet, unharmed and oblivious.
When I got home from work last night, we told Kyle he'd have to leave, and he stormed out with a blanket and pillows. He laid down on the sidewalk, yelling and daring us to call the police. Naturally, Karen brought him back in for "one more chance". She thinks he'll die of exposure on the streets. I feel he can't stay, that something really bad will happen if he does.
This was a really bad scenario in a couple of different ways. We could possibly have been arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor for not locking up our liquor, Kyle is 19 and had a friend over that is only 17 or 18. Our daughter said they went out on the deck, and wouldn't let her out with them. They were probably getting high. Another potential scenario is if someone calls the authorities on us, they search our house and find drugs. They may be able to show we are harboring Kyle knowing he is possessing and using drugs.
I really feel we're enabling his behavior, and need to pull the rug out. Karen thinks that is giving him a death sentence, as it's cold enough that he could die of exposure on the streets, and she'll proceed to mother him some more. Kyle is genuinely repentant about his actions, but someting will happen again in another week or two. That's a fact.
So we are left with very few options, and Karen and I are pulling apart on this decision. I say in frustration that since she's not willing to listen to me, she can handle it herself, and she accuses me of taking the easy way out by washing my hands of him. Yet, if we allow things to continue as they are, which is basically what she is doing, we run the risk of facing HUGE problems at some point in the future.
Here is what will happen: Mark my words and check back again in the future for confirmation of this: We will compromise, and say he has to leave, but he has a week to find a place to stay. He won't look for a place, maybe he's not capable of handling that task, maybe he knows he can manipulate his mother, but either way he will not find a place. He'll work hard, be a model citizen, and generally wow both of us in the coming week. We'll give in, and find ourselves in this exact same situation 2 weeks later, when it's much colder outside and Karen will be even more reluctant to kick him out. And the act or behavior that takes place next time could be much worse, even tragic. It scares me to death, knowing it's coming.
I'm not sure how to proceed on this one.
