Kyle's mom here. After I wrote the blog yesterday I felt so sad. l went into Kyle's room looking for clues about him. His clothes were laying on the floor and I held them and smelled them. I prayed for him. I found a list of goals he had made. Quit using marijuana and cigarettes. Join the service. Put money into savings. I wondered if because he couldn't join the service if he wouldn't do anything on the list. It reminded me of when he was in school. If he was getting all perfect grades he would keep trying. But the first bad grade would come and he would completely shut down.
I smiled because he left his work hat on our deck. That was his way of letting me know he would be coming back and in that I was comforted.
I had nightmares all night. I was trying to get Kyle to take his pills. Then I had to keep unpacking boxes. I would go back to our old house and then same boxes that I had unpacked would be waiting again.