Saturday, July 19, 2003

Kyle's mom back again. Kyle's dad took him to a narcotics anonymous meeting last night. We are going to keep bringing him to various meetings. He didn't seemed displeased with the meeting but I don't know if he was touched either. He called me twice late last night. He sounded manic. He wants to come home and it is hard for me to say no. I am so torn because it is hard on my husband and not really fair to my parents. My parents are wonderful. They babysat for us when the children were little as well as now. Now they are 82 and we don't want to take advantage of them. They were always watching the kids so I could work. Kyle and his grandmother have a special bond. Kyle can be extremely loving and patient. He listens to all of my Dad's stories and helps my mom. He painted their entire house. He cleans their carpet and repairs things. I can't see him staying there forever, however. My goal is to get him a full time job with benefits so he can live on his own. That seems eons away. He called me several times yesterday, he is in a manic phase right now where pleasure rules all his emotions. I know the Zyprexa is working because he is not smashing anything but he calls me and complains constantly. My parents said he is a perfect guest and helping with the dishes. Kyle has always shown his worst side to me. I prayed with him three times yesterday and prayed constantly on my own. When I suggested that he double his zyprexa because the doctor wants to increase it he threatened to take the whole bottle. Now my parent's line is busy and I am worried. I may need to go over there to make sure everyone is o.k.


He did well in school until second grade. He tested off the charts and did some amazing things. He memorized all the presidents in order in kindergarten, he read constantly at about a third grade level in kindergarten, and was head and shoulders above the rest of the class. I began to regret holding him back. He would read entire books on artists, presidents, snakes, or things that normally don't interest little boys. He would play nintendo obsessively. I would limit the time and lock up controllers. He would beat entire games almost instantly. But he would act so crazy when he was playing almost like his life depended on it. It frightened me and I tried to get him outside instead. This is when he was four before he started school. He loved animals and had an extrordinary kindness to him. Any child or pet being picked on he would protect. Any handicapped children, slower children, or just plain outcasts would be befriended by Kyle. He was invited to more birthday parties than all our children combined. A lot of times he would be the only child coming. But he also picked the wildest children in his classes to befriend. He would be attracted to their wildness. He would pick up loners at the park and bring them home. He has such a love for people. But there was a sadness to it because he would always put others first and he was often hurt. He was amazed when people wouldn't be invited to a party so his birthday parties were always the largest. One time the kids kept coming and coming. It was for a sleepover and we ended up with 22 boys. Not only had he asked his entire class of boys but other classes also. He couldn't bear to hurt anyone's feelings. In second grade he began to have problems. His ears protruded and kids made fun of him. Our city was integrated which meant he rode a bus for 50 minutes in the morning and evening. It wasn't a good situation for anyone but Kyle didn't handle it well at all.Kids were making fun of him and each other. He had a horrible teacher. It was the beginning of school problems for Kyle. More history tomorrow...

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