Monday, July 14, 2003
Kyle came home last night at 1:00 in the morning looking for our cell phone. He said a friend needed to make a call. We told him to let him use our home phone, and didn't give him the cell phone. So for the next 30 minutes we had people coming in and out of our home. This morning, we found a pot pipe in his pocket. So, chances are, they were looking for drugs with the phone calls last night.
This is the final straw. Kyles's final court date is Friday, so our selfish reason for wanting to keep him under our roof so we don't lose our $1400 bail money is about done. I think we're going to sit him down today and give him a choice: He follows boot camp type of rules in our house, which we've unsuccessfully attempted to do before, or we give him until his trial date Friday to find a new place to live. Our fear is that he won't be capable of or even interested in caring for himself, and will be dead in 2 weeks. But, if we don't cut the cord, he will never be able to mature, and the cycle will undoubtably continue.
He is better recently, the medication he's on is definitely helping. But he is still capable of knowing what is good for him, and what is not. We have talked very directly to him about drug and alcohol use being part of the symptoms of bipolar, and he is very cognizant of that. He is also aware that drug use can offset or change the effects of his medication. He chooses to use drugs anyway. If we put him out, he won't be able to afford the medication, and therefore won't be able to continue with it. He's not so bad he qualifies to be institutionalized, at least in my opinion, and the opinion of the counselors he's seeing. But this family can't continue to revolve around Kyle. We have 5 kids, yet Kyle insures everything revolves around him, and it's not fair to the other kids.
We're going to attempt to sit down with him over lunch today. More later...
Sat down with Kyle over my lunch hour. He agreed, with attitude, to a contract we drew up. I have serious doubts of his desire and even ability to follow the terms of the contract. From his attitude, I can see Kyle has doubts about OUR ability to enforce the contract...
Just received bad news, they postponed his trial date. Man, just when you think things can start to get back to normal, we run into this. He won't make any plans, and is using this as an excuse to do nothing as he doesn't know if the trial will result in jail time or something else. So he sits around, and gets into trouble. We can't discipline him too much or kick him out because he knows we can't lose that bail money. We have to make sure he shows up for court. If it was our money, I'd be tempted to walk away from it. But we owe relatives for that, and I can't just let it go. I'm so frustrated I could just scream.
Absolutely the highlight of Kyle's year is Cornerstone Festival. 3 years ago, he asked me if he could attend a concert in Illinois, and of course, I immediately said no, end of discussion. My wife, in an uncharacteristic moment, immediately sat me down, looked me in the eye, and said "listen to your son." I looked puzzled, and she told him to continue. He said it was a Christian music festival, and he wanted me to take him. Surprised by this, and not knowing his interest in Christian music, I agreed to take him. Our youngest boy also attended that first year. We were only there for a few days, but our Cornerstone trip has become a bonding experience for our family. Kyle is in heaven at Cornerstone. He is at his manic peak there, moving a million miles an hour, seeing literally 30 shows a day. He barely takes time to eat. This year, I was particularly concerned about a let-down and depression after Cornerstone. It's such a huge build-up and event, I was really worried he would crash upon getting home. In a way he did...